I’ve been without a phone for some weeks now, so I apologize to anyone who’s tried to call. Unfortunately, though, I do have one now, so if I don’t answer, just leave a message. (Really, email is a much better way to reach me.)
I’ve noticed that there’s a pattern to the things most people call about, so as a convenience for us both, I’d like to head off some of the more common inquiries here:
– No, we don’t have chicken. I don’t know when we’ll have it again.
– No, we don’t have eggs. I don’t know when we’ll have them again. I’m hoping next spring, but I still haven’t predator-proofed the hen house or saved any money for chicks and feed, so…no.
– No, I don’t know where you can buy the things you wanted to buy from me. Try a farmers market.
– No, I don’t want to pay you to advertise my business.
– No, I don’t want to buy anything.
– No, I don’t have live birds for sale. Not for slaughter, not for eggs, not for pets, not for your kid’s school project, not for anything. I have no chickens. Take a cat. We have plenty of those. And they’re free.
– No, no turkeys either.
– Nor ducks, nor geese.
– And I’ve never had pork or lamb or goat.
– I especially don’t have cattle here on my four-point-something acres in East Linden.
– Yes, I do know where you can get chicks and started pullets. Let me Google that for you.
– No, no tenemos frijoles. Ni pollos. Mire arriba. Y no entiendo español bien. Soy gringo. Por eso, si no quiere hablar ingles usted, debe tener patiencia conmigo…o, preferiblemente, hable con mi esposa. No, ella no está aquí ahorra.
– No, we’re not hiring.
– Yes, I actually am willing to answer questions to help you with your paper for school, but I prefer to do so via email.
